Rock Band

I have the coolest parents ever. I am 29 years old, and they still gave me Rock Band for Christmas. It is so much fun!

Now, first of all, I would like to dispel the myth that everyone who plays games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band thinks they are “real” musicians. Just like most people who play Dance Dance Revolution don’t think they are “real” dancers, either. When I play Halo, I do not actually believe I am a real Spartan shooting real aliens. In other words, most people are not… you know… insane.

The idea is completely preposterous, and if you think you are an awesome guitar player because you beat Guitar Hero 3 on “freakin’ impossible” or whatever, then I have a news flash for you.

A somewhat guitar-shaped plastic controller is not real a guitar. You are ruining this for the rest of us. Just stop.

That said, Rock Band is an awesome game, and this is a really cool gaming genre. I recently got pwn’d at Guitar Hero 3 by a bunch of teenagers at the cast party for the play I directed this fall, so I started out in Guitar Solo Tour mode. I beat Easy pretty readily, and I am about halfway through Medium.

Here presents a problem, though. I now want to try Guitar Hero again, but the really cool guitar controller that Rock Band comes with, the Fender Stratocaster, isn’t compatible with any version of Guitar Hero! This is in spite of the fact that Guitar Hero controllers are compatible with Rock Band. It makes no sense.

So, my only choice is to purchase Guitar Hero 3 with the wireless guitar controller. But I am not allowing myself to do that until I beat Rock Band Guitar Solo Tour mode on Hard, which will probably never happen.